After having our third child, I was excited to lose my additional baby weight—weight that I knew helped to nourish our sweet newborn with all of her essential nutrients but weight I couldn’t wait to depart from nonetheless.
When our daughter was a few months old, I began doing some at-home workouts. Aside from feeling “sore” a few days in a row, I saw very little results from my sweaty workouts.
My husband assured me that “these things” took time. He was quite the professional at this point in coaching and encouraging me through any postpartum woes. We just had our third child. But I wanted some sort of results. Anything to motivate me to keep at it.
Shortly into thinking over my “dilemma,” I recalled a podcast I listened to a few months prior to having my baby.
In the podcast the interviewer made a remarkable statement.
She said that the most “successful” people in the world obsess over processes-not end results.
In obsessing over the process, perfecting the process, falling in love with the process…the results always came.
Obsess over the process.
Perfect the process.
Fall in love with the process.
In terms of working out, I needed a process that afforded me greater probability for consistency (i.e. time away from the kids to workout). I needed a process that brought greater accountability. I needed a process that filled me up in more ways than just one. I needed something to look forward to that I absolutely loved.
I swapped out my at-home workouts and joined a gym (thanks to my sister who gifted me with a very large birthday gift $$ dedicated towards my self-care).
I began swimming. I began going to the sauna and meditating. I began taking dance classes that offered a fusion between salsa, Afrobeats, hip hop, and even belly dancing.
I obsessed over the process. Perfected it. Fell in love with it. Before I knew it, the results came without me fishing for them.
Why do I write this blog post?
I now try to apply this principle in every area of my life. Whether it's in my marriage, my parenting, my cooking etc.
If I want to continue to grow as a person, I focus on creating HEALTHY processes, habits, routines.
Some processes I love from the jump. Others, I fall in love with over time
In short, I now spend more time thinking through processes than end results/goals.
That’s not to say that I don’t have goals. Honey, I do! It’s to say that I spend more of my thought energy in strategizing over how to obtain that goal, rather than wondering if I’ve “arrived” yet. I usually set a timeline (with A LOT of margin) and I don’t measure my progress until that time is up so as to not get discouraged.
I’m not perfect… at all! And I don’t prioritize everything. But what I want in life, I do prioritize.
I want to know Jesus intimately. I want to experience deeper layers of a healthy marriage. I want my family to enjoy really scrumptious healthy food. I want to create lasting memories that are spoken about long after I’m gone. I want to look and feel sexy-always haha. I want my children to walk intimately with the Lord all the days of their lives. I want to be a forever learner.
Because of this, I must spend time asking God and others for wisdom to know what healthy routines, rhythms, and habits to implement now so that these things can be accomplished.
Life can become busy and chaotic quickly.
If you don’t consider what guardrails to implement in your life so that certain areas of your life continue to thrive without having to give CONSTANT daily thought to them, it’s easy for those same areas to drift towards a state of stagnancy and sometimes decay. This applies to anyone spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally etc.
In short, if you’re not seeing the results you want in an area of your life, don’t lose heart. Don’t give up. Don’t resign to the “ it is what it is” type of mentality.
Seek wisdom. Focus on the process. Change the process, if necessary.
BUT Be patient. Before you know it, the results will come.