I sat in our one-bedroom condominium, rocking our three-month-old to sleep—our firstborn, who cried non-stop and needed constant stimulation. Rocking, patting, bouncing, walking. I didn’t know when it would end. I refrained from calling our son a colicky baby, but looking back, his behavior bespoke every textbook definition of colic.
No, instead I tried to tell myself that he was strong-willed. Headstrong. He simply knew what he wanted.
But that mid-afternoon, after constantly rocking him back and forth, I didn’t know what to think anymore. I just knew that I was tired, sleep-exhausted, alone (my husband had recently returned back to work from his paternity leave and traveled weekly), and in need of some sort of reprieve.
I tuned into TBN and YouTube worship videos as my form of escape.
One evening, after a failed attempt to place my baby down for a nap (he just wanted to rest on my chest), I tuned into a scheduled program on TBN with Joyce Meyer.
At this point, I knew all the scheduled pastors on TBN: Pastors John Gray, Joseph Prince, Charles Stanley, Joel Osteen, Steven Furtick, Creflo Dollar, Andrew Wommack, Michael Todd, James MacDonald, Robert Morris, etc. I was so desperate to take my mind off my constantly crying baby that I would binge-watch all that TBN programming had to offer.
On this scheduled program, Joyce Meyer spoke on the importance of the tongue. I’d read James 3 and thought I knew the significance of how deadly and rewarding my speech could be.
But this evening the Lord showed me something new.
As Joyce Meyer spoke, the Lord impressed on me that He wanted me to prophetically speak words over my son that I believed that he would become… even if I couldn’t see it. I felt the importance of this command, and so the next morning, during my son’s bath time, I specifically created a song for him. I began singing it over him, and three years later, I still do.
Me singing to our son when he was an infant
When our daughter was born, she was just 6-weeks-old when the Lord gave me another song to sing over her too.
Me singing over our daughter when she was an infant
A few months later, the Lord led me to take things a step further after my son began throwing tantrums and requiring more discipline and attention from me. Without me realizing it, I subtly began to entertain fearful thoughts regarding my son due to witnessing his change in behavior.
Will he be a rebellious teenager in the future?
Will he be like a prodigal child? Will he reject the Lord in the future and have a rough life because of it?
I didn’t realize that I was having these thoughts until my perception of my son began to change one day. I didn’t see him as the sweet precious boy that he was. Instead, I began to view him through a lens laced with lies-subtly impacting my treatment of him. This scared me.
One day, while in my prayer closet, the Lord gave me a future vision of my precious son. The Lord then told me to specifically write out everything I envisioned and then to speak those words over my son daily and to practice visualizing it! So I wrote a paragraph of what I saw and began speaking these things over him DAILY. (I practically know it by heart now.)
Evan Jr. is a God-fearing, faithful, persevering, kind, sober-minded, focused man who submits to the Lord’s authority at all costs. He loves his wife and is diligent in his work and stewards his own gift. He has received a clear and true vision from the Lord. He is strong and an excellent steward of his own physical and spiritual body. He runs and is active and cooks homegrown organic foods. He is confident and secure in himself. He is excellent at investing and making whatever he stewards to grow. He is deeply compassionate and protects his siblings. He stays away from the paths of evil and does not get entangled in civilian affairs since he is a soldier of Christ. Therefore, he doesn’t look to the left nor to the right but keeps His eyes straight ahead on the eyes of Christ. Nor does he walk towards the home of the woman who flatters with her tongue (Proverbs 7).
I did the same exercise for our younger daughter too.
Ada is kind and discerning. She is sharp, organized, and accumulates knowledge, wisdom, and understanding easily. She fears the Lord. She assesses an argument with ease. She has a gentle and quiet spirit. She produces eternal fruit by the work of her hands. She knows that she is seen, known, and loved. She knows that she is beautiful and that she belongs. She knows that she is the apple of the Lord’s eye. She ponders things in her heart before acting on them. She is bold and courageous and does not bow down in the face of evil or trial and tribulation. She fights for the injustices of the oppressed, she speaks for the speechless, she stands up to the powerful and mighty. She does not bow down to evil even in the face of death. She protects her sister and prays for her. She only thinks and wants the best for her sister. Jealousy is not a part of any of our children’s relationships in any way shape or form. As iron sharpens iron- so our children’s relationship sharpens one another. They are all best friends and spur one another towards Christ even while culture becomes more wicked. Our children laugh at the days to come and responsibly take care of one another when Evan (husband) and I transition.
And I began to speak life over my husband too. (I’ll keep the words that I speak over him to myself.)
What I’ve gained from this discipline is that after three months, I truly began to believe these words, and thereby I began to treat my children according to these beliefs rather than impulsively and fearfully reacting to the current actions I saw displayed.
Because I believed it, I found myself shaping and molding them according to what I already believed that they would become...instead of crouching in fear hoping that the future would bode well for them.
Nowadays, I’m so sensitive to any words that I speak over them that if it’s not edifying, I don’t speak it--even if it’s in jest. I’m careful to rebuke even strangers who might be joking and say,
“Oh, she’s going to be ______ when she grows up. He’s going to have a problem with ____ in the future. He’s going to be just like his _____. They’re going to argue all the time...just watch. Oh I can already tell, she’s going to get into a lot of trouble at school. He’s going to hurt himself if…She’s going to make all the ladies jealous. ”
I rebuke these curses immediately in the name of Jesus since it’s not edifying.
Why?
How did the Lord create the heavens and earth?
He spoke them into existence.
Genesis 1, "And God said, 'Let there be...."
How does Satan gain footholds into people’s lives?
He speaks lies.
Our tongues are much more powerful than you think.
Since we are made in the image of God, we should take pause and truly consider the value that the Lord places on our speech. It’s a part of His design, and for whatever reason, our words play a vital role in how God allows things to operate in this universe. So it’s worth studying carefully what God says about the tongue.
Proverbs 13:3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
James 1:26; "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
Proverbs 21:23 "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."
Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."
1 Peter 3:10 "For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit"
I end this blog post by saying, in short, stop speaking curses over your children, spouses, loved ones, self, and others made in the image of God.
It’s one thing to be honest and truthful about one’s current situation within the frameworks of a healthy perspective. It’s another to project a future reality onto someone that is not edifying but spoken from a place of fear, carelessness, insecurity, disappointment, etc. You never know the damage your one tongue can incite. Likewise, you never know the blessings you hinder due to your speech.
It's quite serious.
Matthew 12:33-36
33“Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. 34“You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. 35“The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil. 36“And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. 37“For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.”
P.S. 3.5 weeks until our baby is due. Would absolutely love your prayers over these next few weeks.