Customarily, my daughter would run to me screaming and crying with all of her very big 4-year-old emotions. But this time, she ran past me… towards another couch.
God may be receiving the utmost glory in the midst of you feeling like you’re failing at everything. The angels may be rejoicing, when you can’t grasp any of your intended accomplishments. Maybe the goal isn’t physical results, but a Galatians 5 Holy Spirit-bred fruit.
I had everything to do and so little time to do them. But secretly, I didn’t mind because deep down, I desired to hide behind my schedule as the reason why I couldn’t spend time in God’s Presence (or rather in the awareness of His Presence). Anytime I did squeeze my devotional somewhere in the day, I dreaded it and mainly did it out of obligation.
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:5-6
This is by far the most restful and grace-filled lesson that I've learned/am learning. During our first year of marriage, I admit that I was plagued by the fear of divorce. I continuously looked at my flaws and suspected that something bad would happen and that we wouldn't make it. I went to the Lord in fear, as I meditated on my vows, and came to the realization that I simply couldn't do it.
Due to this underlying fear, certain thoughts would produce more fear. The moment I sensed trouble, fear produced more fear. And before I knew it, the Lord was no longer in my thoughts. I kept thinking of hypothetical situations, entertained "what ifs," and blew up minor disagreements into major ones. But what I've come to understand now, is that Evan and I didn't come together on our own accord. The Lord brought us together. Therefore, when I see the enemy attempt to pull us apart—albeit through people, our own flesh, or circumstance—this verse grants me immense comfort. Why?
I have the permission to go the Lord holding onto His promise rather than holding onto panic/fear. I can boldly state, "Abbah, You see this ___is pulling us apart. Now, You brought us together. I trust and wait on You to move, to guide, or to remove "xyz"so that we may be on1 accord. I know that You desire this more than I do! I trust in You to help us through because Your Namesake is on the line."
Marriage is bigger than any 2 people. It is a narrative that the Lord writes, directs, and constructs. Therefore, when I sense trouble now, I go to the Director. It's not my problem. I simply lay it at His feet and watch Him move for His own Namesake. For His own Glory.
I must warn you though. When you do this, don't be surprised if you find that the stumbling block within this beautiful narrative is not an outside force...but is actually you. Haha, this has happened to me on more than 1 occasion!
Let No Man Separate
