Evan Jr. was conceived due to the hand of God.
The miracle of pregnancy is beyond what my mind can conceive.
One sperm and one egg coming together at just the right time, implanting itself in a womb prepared for weeks prior, and somehow growing into a fully-functioning baby without a single human hand directing the show. Even more fascinating is the forever inhabitation of a soul, even before our human eyes can see.
This is without a doubt...a miracle.
But this isn’t what this blog post is about.
It’s actually about the time my husband agreed to us trying to get pregnant, after months of him wanting to wait.
But before I share the story of how that came about, I think it’s worth rewinding a bit more and sharing how the Lord allowed Evan (my husband) and I to have three years of marriage before having children...all without any conventional forms of birth control.
When we first got engaged, Evan and I decided pretty early on to refrain from using conventional forms of birth control.
This is the night Evan proposed. Read the details of my engagement story in God, Princeton, & My Pondered Thoughts.
I’d recently been healed, a few months prior, from some pretty severe food allergies and had finally begun gaining weight, healthfully exercising, and eating a diverse array of foods without issue. With that said, I had no desire to have my body experiment with conventional forms of birth control. Evan, thankfully, agreed without question.
I didn’t adopt this stance due to being well-researched. In fact, I hadn’t done any. I simply didn’t have a good feeling about going this route. So I asked some older married couples what they did, and the idea of family planning seemed appealing. I ordered Taking Charge of Your Fertility and began reading.
I felt pretty confident that if the Lord wanted us pregnant, despite our best efforts, we would get pregnant. And if He didn’t, He would allow for us to not get pregnant.
I was 22 at the time and quite naive. However, I trusted my Heavenly Father.
Evan Sr. was on board. Our close family members were frightened. Our friends thought we were crazy. And the last few words of most conversations with others were often, “Y’all will be pregnant in a few months. Just watch,” uttered with worry and grimace.
I wanted to retort in response, “And if we do...Well, Praise the Lord!” But my inner mommy-boldness hadn’t yet arrived. Instead, I’d lightly chuckle during these conversations and quietly hold Evan’s hand a bit tighter.
I had no idea what we were doing.
We married soon after and two years flew by. Evan and I experienced several lazy mornings together. A few binge-watches throughout. Several dates in different restaurants and movie theaters. A few walks alongside Lake Shore Drive overlooking Lake Michigan. And time…we experienced so much free time.
After two years of marriage, I felt a nudge from the Lord to begin discussing our timeline for kids. I shared this with Evan.
Evan said he’d take it to prayer.
The only issue? Evan’s “taking it to prayer” appeared more of a coy to delay, and months flew by.
I felt pretty helpless. Evan maintained his unwavering posture of hopefulness. And our discussion was nonexistent. It ended with me thinking that it was time to begin trying to conceive and with Evan sitting unphased saying again and again “Okay...lemme pray on it.”
What could you say in response to that?
Father’s Day of 2017 was when everything changed.
Evan and I were both getting dressed to go to church when Evan received a text from our Pastor.
“C’mon man-let us wish you a Happy Father’s Day. We waiting on you, bro!”
Evan laughed aloud and sent him a text back.
“Lol in due time brother. Happy Father’s Day to you!”
Our Pastor was discipling Evan at the time, and they had a close relationship.
Due to Evan running behind, I decided to go ahead to church, since it was only five minutes away. While walking up to the church door, I saw Ms. Carolyn, the best church greeter in all of Chicago, giving out raffle tickets to all incoming fathers. The raffle entry afforded fathers the opportunity to win a gift card at the end of service.
“Aw..how sweet and thoughtful,” I thought to myself. I hugged Ms. Carolyn and took my place in our usual pew that Evan and I loved sitting on.
Evan and I standing outside our church building during the summer of 2017.
Evan showed up minutes later.
Towards the end of service, our Pastor walked on stage and directed the fathers in the audience to pull out their raffle tickets. Evan began rustling inside his suit jacket for something. Instantly, he pulled out his raffle ticket.
“Evan….the tickets are for fathers,” I said while looking around, in fear of breaking an unwritten rule.
“Oh… I didn’t know. I thought they were for all men,” he said, pleasantly unphased.
“Evan, you can’t participate in the raffle,” I responded more urgently.
“Well, let’s just see,” he said with a humorous smirk.
Apparently, the prize was a gift card for a new suit. A temptation Evan seemed to not be able to resist...even in church.
But what I didn’t know was that Evan was actually talking to God. Perhaps he had been. He told the Lord that if his ticket was selected that he would take that as a sign to begin having children. Yes, a raffle ticket.
I knew none of this. I just knew that my husband was... well, being my husband: doing as he pleased, without fear of judgment.
Our Pastor announced the first set of numbers from the pulled raffle ticket.
After much silence, our Pastor asked everyone to double-check the numbers on their raffle ticket.
No one claimed it.
Our Pastor turned the wheel again and pulled out another raffle ticket.
Still nothing. No one claimed the second set of numbers either.
At this point, slight frustration ensued as our Pastor again directed church congregants to pull out their raffle tickets and read their numbers more carefully (church service was running behind and pushing into the start of Sunday school).
Our Pastor turned the wheel again and called out the third set of numbers.
Evan stood up, raffle ticket in hand.
Our church had quite a large congregation. But since we frequented the 8 AM service, everyone knew each other. And they all knew that Evan was not yet a father.
Evan went up to the stage and claimed his prize. Our Pastor laughed. “Well, we know that Evan isn’t a father...yet but we’re going to give him this gift card.” Our much older church members smiled at me upon seeing Evan on stage...as if to say, “I look forward to seeing you two younguns procreating one day.”
I was the only one who felt embarrassed.
When Evan finally returned to his seat, he looked like a deer in headlights. He went on to share with me a revelation I never anticipated him receiving.
“That’s it love. It’s confirmed. I’m going to give the gift card away. But it’s confirmed. I just prayed literally to the Lord that if my number was called that I would take that as a sign to begin trying (to have children).”
“What?” I questioned in shock.
“Yeah. I can’t deny that one. You just witnessed it.”
Evan gave the gift card to another father and we began trying that day.
I praise the Lord that my husband was not like Gideon. He knew that the Lord had spoken, as strange as it may have seemed, and he didn’t need a further sign. The likelihood of Evan getting to church late, grabbing a ticket unknowingly, and winning a raffle ticket after two people didn’t claim their prize. This was not a coincidence. The Lord had answered. I just never expected the Lord to get my husband’s attention through a raffle ticket.
