I walk into a social setting amongst other women. There, I see a pool of lovely ladies called my friends.
“Wow, Jess you’re hair looks so good.”
"Thank you!" I respond.
But I’m not going to tell you that I stayed up watching natural hair videos on YouTube (for days), stayed up until 3:00 AM trying to perfect the three-strand twist out, and then pretended I was asleep at 6:00 AM so that my hubby could grab baby when little one began to cry.
“Your husband always showers you with compliments. You guys are so in love.”
….uh yeah. We just got into an argument on the way here. And yes, we love each other deeply-but trust me, it’s by choice every day. And speaking of choice, do you know why he’s complimenting me so much? Because he knows he needs to reassure me of certain truths due to my own personal insecurities. But nobody needs to know all of that. Let’s keep it light. So I’ll respond instead with...
“Yep, he’s a keeper!”
Why is it that when we get together, I’m not going to tell you that our light jokes are making me laugh and at the same time causing me to slip something “else” out due to subtle incontinence post pregnancy? Or that from the time you walked in, I’ve been sizing you up, unconsciously comparing my body, hair, and child to yours? Or that I canceled our last lunch date because I was simply “cramping,” when I really wanted to say that I felt like I was dying and felt all alone and just wanted my mama and questioned why the good Lord had to give us cycles every month?
I am being a bit dramatic, but then again, am I?
That day I wore my 4-inch heel. Let's just say, I haven't worn them since.
As women, I think we’ve made it our job to keep it together. From the time we were young, we’ve trained ourselves to go to school and hide the pain inside when we were cramping. We’ve held our breath when getting that first perm that felt like fire or those braids that felt much too tight, or when getting our eyebrows threaded or that wax down there. We’ve mastered the “walk,” even when those 4-inch heels were killing our feet.
We hide pain well. Some of us are better at it than others.
So you may be wondering, "what are you getting at Jess? All hese things aren't necessarily bad." You're right. Ladies, I’m not here to tell you to stop. Do as you please. However, I am here to warn you of something much much graver.
When we take our ability to have it together physically and begin applying it to our inner lives, there will be trouble.
1 Timothy 5:24
"The sins of some are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them."
If I can be honest, my "mom" friends and I do not struggle with sins that are obvious and outwardly seen. We are not sleeping around, drinking heavily, partying into the night, watching porn, or posting provocative pics on social media. In fact, most of us look “well put together.” We go to church, take care of our husbands, children, and homes. And responsibly take care of whatever else needs to be taken care of.
But if I must be blunt.
We (seemingly well-put together women) are the ones that you really need to watch out for.
For we struggle with sins that can’t be seen. Sins that no one will ever know about, if not confessed. And these, my friends, are much deadlier.
They can lurk behind the shadows and fester. They can wreak havoc in our hearts without anyone ever knowing. They can lead to thoughts that we’d never want to utter. And they can destroy our lives with one spark of a match.
These are the sins of one’s inner life.
It’s pride, jealousy, slander, adulterous thoughts, discontentment, judgment etc. No, you may not see us downing a bottle of Hennessy, but drinking from the pool of evil thought and lies is just as worst.
So ladies, walk like a model in those heels, knowing good and well you will change into your flats as soon as you get into the car. I’m not mad at you.
But, I plead with you. Do not take this same kind of conditioning when it comes to your inner life. Be honest with your girlfriends, husbands, sisters. Confess your sins and ask for prayer. Because if you don’t, these untouched sins could destroy the fruit that the Holy Spirit wants to do in and through your life. Transparency is key.
Lately, there have been sins that I’ve had to confess to my husband that I am really ashamed to share. But in confessing, I have experienced the freedom of Christ in a way that is so powerful that Satan cannot hold me in bondage.
PonderedThought: You’re not perfect. You’re broken just like the next, so don’t take yourself so seriously that you feel pressured to keep upholding an image that is simply false. Humble yourself. Confess. And embrace the fullness of the cross. Yep, we all are in need of the Blood. You ain’t no different.